All The Why’s…?
‘If We Wait Until We’re Ready, We’ll Be Waiting For The Rest of Our Lives’
I posted this quote about an hour before my first gig back in August 2017. I must have read it a hundred times that day to try and calm my nerves, but more than ever leading up to my first gig this quote spoke to me, it kept me going, and really summed up why it had taken so long for me to pursue my music….
I had been holding myself back… and waiting until I was Ready?!!
Many people have asked me why now, what’s the goal, do you regret not starting music younger? So why did I only just start with my music in my late twenties, and honestly there are a million reasons why. This was one of the main reasons to start my Blog, to make a bit of sense around why at 26 (now nearly 29) okay that went fast!, that I decided to put myself out there, for people to see as an Independent Recording Artist, with minimal experience as a singer, complete lack of confidence and pretty much no idea how to get started. So I’m hoping as my blog continues it may just trigger a little something in someone else, anyone who has been holding back on something they have always wanted to do, and make a start.
So Why Now? … The truth is I’ve always wanted to be a singer, the 12yr old in me screaming POPSTAR Nicola, just say it, you wanted to be a POPSTAR! …. but I’ve just never really had the nerve. I honestly thought that as I got older I would grow in confidence, but the opposite happened, I got more and more insecure over my music/career in general, and my mind just completely ran away with me. How crazy that we can convince ourselves that too much time has passed, or that we’re just not good enough, or even worse look good enough EURGH!! Looking back now I’m actually grateful for having a period of poor mental health and doubt, it was during this time that I made the decision to push myself out of my comfort zone and improve my overactive mind. This is why there wasn’t a big plan to do all that I’ve achieved with my music, it was honestly a distant dream, and one that I never thought I could execute, but I made the decision that I wanted to be happier, and I had to try. Trust me I’m winging it, constantly chipping away at it, and trying to figure it all out, but one things for sure I am much happier. So it really was a case of stop worrying, start living, try and create a life I’ve always wanted for myself and make some amazing memories along the way. My Nan has always said ‘busy hands are a busy mind’, and I can safely say since I began my music back in March 2017, I’ve been a little too busy to worry too much.
Many ask what’s the goal? … and everywhere I look; music blogs, advisors, managers, labels, all say the same, you need to know what your end goal is so you can work towards it! The truth is I really don’t know, I find it really overwhelming to pin point a specific goal, especially when at the minute my music could go in any direction. Also of course I want to say I want a record deal, isn’t that every singer’s dream?, but at nearly 29 the chances of that happening feel super slim, and the lifestyle sacrifices/pressure that come with it has always been a concern of mine. Right now I’m happy to work towards a middle ground, being an Independent Artist and going at my own pace. I used to think that if you didn’t get a record deal you hadn’t made it, how naive. Thankfully the music industry has opened up so much for independent artists, that you can pursue your dream, release your own music, and truly feel you are achieving your goals a step at a time. Who knows, one day if I did get the opportunity for a deal, I may have figured out that work-life balance a bit more, feel that bit more comfortable with the idea, but right now I’m just enjoying the journey, with the best people around me, supporting me.
And finally others ask, do you wish you had started earlier? … and at times yeah!! Who doesn’t wish they had realised sooner, that they can do something that’s been held off for all these years, and be a much happier person in general; but would I turn back the clock and actually change it … Honestly No! I’m a big believer in your challenges make you the person you are, and without my challenges I never would have pushed myself to improve. I have also found so many benefits being a little bit older; You feel more confident having your say behind the scenes, you can take the knock-backs that little better because you’ve experienced bigger losses and you can put things into perspective. I think as you get older you truly appreciate hard work and I trust that hard work pays off, maybe not always in the way you originally thought, but that’s something I hold onto, on the days when everything seems to go wrong and I feel like I’ve just taken 10 steps back, in my gut I trust one way or another this will all work out.
So that’s it guys, my First Blog complete, I hope I’ve not waffled on too much! I didn’t want to make my first blog too long, just a small summary on what got me to make a start. My Blog will be monthly and I can’t wait to write about subjects such as; Auditions and tips, the writing process and studio time, social media (the good and the bad), aswell as mental health and image. I hope if you’ve been following me for a while now I have answered some of your questions, and as my Blog continues you get to know what’s going on behind social media, aswell as getting to know me a little better.
I’ve added a pic below of the quote I posted Aug 2017 before my first gig, and it’s right, you’re never going to feel READY,
So just go and make a start!! GO…
Lots of love, Nic xx